I'm sure there are people losing their money left and right for betting we'd be divorced by now. In the last two and a half years we've moved across the country, moved homes, had another baby, broken addictions, been promoted at work, and dealt with a serious health scare with our toddler. Life has happened, to say the least. While being married for two years doesn't exactly make me a marriage expert, there are a few things I've learned.
I get annoyed with my husband a lot. A lot. Did I say a lot? He has gas. A lot. He can completely zone out in front of a screen and he manages to "sleep" through screaming children with impeccable ease. He walks into a room and completely misses the mess that ruins my whole day. Guess what? He also has a mile long list of the things I do to annoy him, too. I jump to conclusions. Lose my temper too easily. Talk about things completely uninteresting to him. A lot.
I'd say the first thing I learned about marriage is that life is much more enjoyable when you let little things roll off your back. I know now that my husband is never going to walk into a room and just start picking it up. He will however, do just about anything I TELL him that I need help with. I'm a dreamer. I come up with crazy ideas on a whim and insist we do them NOW. He's my logistics guy. He figures out how the idea can become a reality, and every one in a while he just says no. Our dreams about life are the same but oftentimes the way we see fit to get there is very different. We challenge each other. A lot.
It's corny to say, but you get out what you put in. You cannot build a good marriage without time and sacrifice. When recruiting duty was at its worst and Will was working from 6am to 10pm six nights a week, there were days I thought, "why in the world does anyone get married?" I was doing all this taking care of my kids on my own before anyhow and I didn't have another person to worry about before. There was no time for us to pour love into our marriage. To spend time together to remind us why we loved each other so much. Relationships don't work like that. People make it work, sure. But find me a couple who says their marriage is in a great place without putting time into it, and, well, you won't.
The weekend before last we took a kid free getaway. Our first in two years. I don't love leaving my babies. It isn't the most comfortable thing in the world for me. They were in wonderful, loving hands though and we needed that time. Two days was perfect. Reconnecting. Laughing. Not talking about a child's bowel habits or latest meltdown. Needed for sure.
At the end of the day, I always have someone on my team. Through this craziness we're on the same side. I'm beyond blessed. I'm sure 5 or 10 years from now I will look back on this post and laugh about how I thought I knew anything about marriage. For now though, I'm enjoying having figured at least something out.